SEXY OBJECTS & the people inside them

SEXY

I won't pretend that I don't attempt it from time to time.

I won't pretend that some people don't "like" me just because I am unafraid of the SEXY.

I won't pretend that some people don't judge me harshly because of said SEXY.

Which is weird because, I mean... I just this nerdy girl, right?

But I'm not. I'm not JUST anything.

I'm not JUST a nerd, or JUST sexy, or JUST a fitness nut and a dog lover and a person addicted to tea and books and travel.

And that is the difference between finding someone SEXY and OBJECTIFYING them. I mean when you look at a "sexy" picture you may not know that the subject of the picture has 2 cute fluffy dogs at home and he or she likes to run outdoors 10 months of the year.... but do you look at the person and see a PERSON? Not a sex toy. Not a Dildo with fresh batt'ries or a pocket pussy that Jeeves warmed up in the dishwasher* for you. 

Recently someone that has always been a BIG FAN of my WORK as a fetish model got mad at me and blasted me for calling someone else out for a series of sexist remarks. 

I see this as YOU ARE GREAT WHEN I IMAGINE YOU ARE SUBJUGATING YOURSELF, BUT I CANNOT ACCEPT THAT YOU HAVE THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS TOO! HOW DARE YE! 

Well, I dare. I dare like a motherfucker.

Because I am not a dildo or a Fleshlight. I'm a person. And persons are complicated.

Also: If everyone else has gone the polite route, I will yell at you. Because for some people anger is the only language they know. Talk smack, get smacked. Other ladies were raised right. They try to explain. I was raised by wolves so I explained it in a way that it could be heard by other animals**.

But on to the criticism of Modern Feminism- That we are crippling men & boys by making them mealymouthed neutered  pansies afraid of their own shadow. 

MOSTLY I wanna smack people who say this. I wanna hit them in their giant melons and say OH YEAH? CUZ 1 outta 4 women in America won't have to fight with a Rapist and MAYBE win? Cuz we make as much money and we are equally represented in positions of power? 

UM NO.

But then I know a few guys and they are TRUE SWEETHEARTS and sometimes they aren't sure what to do or how to say it and they get really conflicted on where the "lines are". 

So.. INTERNET HELP ME. I'd like to have a chat. A big group chat in which we talk about 

Sex and Feminism and How to be a Stand Up Guy without being a Turgid Dick 

but I dunno how that works. Do they still have chatrooms? Is this a thing? Can I take one over for a day?

If you know how to make this work I will invite people and talk and get it ALLLLL OUT IN THE OPEN AND SOLVE THE WORLD'S PROBLEMS. ALL OF THEM.

or something. 

Tell me what you think in the comments or over on TWITTER!

OKAY SO! I've figured out the CHAT! But I need your EMAIL to INVITE YOU TO THE CHAT! 
you can DM it to me on Twitter or email it to me lgwenn @  Yahoo dot com
We'll be doing it Tuesday the 29th, at 9PM EST

* I don't honestly know if dudes put pocket pussies in the dishwasher, but it seems like a practical (and clean!) way to warm it up and I figure a warm pussy is better, right?

** add animal to the list of things I am

In which Lela wishes to change the world through snark

The harassment policy at NYCC is sorta terrible.

While they are VERY CLEAR (in the statement pointed to VICTIMS*) that harassment will not be tolerated, The RULES only say

1. Be nice and have fun! All of your fellow NYCC con-goers are there to have a good time, so be friendly, make a new best bud, give a free hug and have a paramount good time at NYCC! Any behavior that's offensive in public should be kept out of NYCC and in the privacy of your own home.

(link here)


 On top of that, the mechanics for a victim to deal with it are awful. The victim is instructed to "Go to the NYCC Show Office."


 JAVITS IS HUGE.
And during NYCC it is STUFFED WITH PEOPLE.
By instructing people to Go to the Show Office, Reed Pop is basically saying, "We are going to give you a lollipop and pat you on your head because there is NO FUCKING WAY we're gonna find that guy, confirm it was the dude that grabbed your tit and kick him out. Why don't you spend the rest of your already ruined day sitting here while we "look"? OH and that costume shows an awful lot of skin. NAKED IS NOT A COSTUME, YANNO?


*Click What if I'm Harassed?


So what do we do?

TO TWITTER MY FRIENDS ( and Facebook and G+ too !)

TWEET/STATUS UPDATE  How you will deal with immobilizing/capturing/ what-have-you a hypothetical harasser at NYCC? Freeze ray? Giant Hammer? Old Fashioned crotch shot?

Give me your super hero story of defeating a harasser! They should be over the top and silly. A fun game with a serious purpose.

Use the hashtag #ConHero and tag @NY_Comic_Con

This has an added benefit. If it trends then people all over nerddom will see it. It will make it clear that we don't accept harassment.




Collect your thoughts, loves. We will be launching this ship on TUESDAY, September 3rd.

** To improve harassment policy we need:
1) CLEAR RULES AGAINST HARASSMENT
2) BETTER WAYS TO REPORT HARASSMENT.
3) CLEAR CONSEQUENCES FOR HARASSERS

Examples of  tweets:
I see a girl getting harassed @NY_COMIC _ Con. I Use my + 5  Sword of Suffering to cut him in twain. I'm a #ConHero

Some dude grabs my booty @NY_ Comic_ Con so I make him walk the plank. I'm a #ConHero

In which Lela conducts a fake interview and the internet ESSPLODES!

I'm HEAD NERD CORRESPONDENT over at WHACK! Magazine. MOSTLY, this means I read graphic novels and tell people if they're good or not, but sometimes I do interviews.

Let me tell you a secret: I suck at interviews. Seriously. I ask the same questions everyone asks. The people I interview are generally better off just giving me their Playboy Playmate of the month stats. 

I like long walks on the beach and cold nights by the fire. Turn ons include flannel sleepwear and Zima Malt Beverage.

So I asked Chuck Wendig and Stephen Blackmoore if I could interview them back in JANUARY. And then I put it off. Why? Cuz I hate doing things I suck at.

When I came to the realization that I really HAD to do SOMETHING I did what I usually do-- I went to Twitter.

Gimmie some interview questions! 

HOW BIGGS ARE THEM CANZ? 

Now you have to understand that this was from a Dear Friend and so I giggled and this got me thinking. I suck at interviews, but I do not suck at snarky commentary. So I asked Chuck and Stephen if they were for it and we produced THIS .

And THIS thing we produced has taken on a life of it's own with 200+ notes and making the front page of Reddit and SO MANY NEW TWEEPS (Hi new twitter friends. This is all quite overwhelming) One of the biggest critiques I've heard is that they were expecting it so it isn't really the same thing.

Which is true, if the intention had been to put men in the same position as women are constantly placed by media. But that ain't me. This is really just about the ABSURDITY of those questions. The ridiculous labels put on women because they have/don't have kids. Because they write/don't write sex/violence/science/unsympathetic characters.

Thing is, there is DEFINITELY space for that kind of skewering satire. And there may even be dude writers who deserve that kind of treatment. But that ain't me.

But the thing is it IS TRUE that most women CAN'T answer the types of questions that I asked Chuck & Stephen with the candor or wit that they did.... not without risking the interview disappearing.

So I'm going to be hitting up LADY WRITERS for a a column called IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING. In which I will ask the terrible questions and the LADYWRITER in question will be allowed NAY! EXPECTED to hand me a fist full of TRUTHINESS.

I'm gonna be reaching out to people in the near future. If you have a suggestion for who you think would be a good fit COMMENTS are below!

( Idea for IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING came out of a conversation with Suleikha Snyder on Twitter)