We'd moved from Texas to Virginia. From a neighborhood on the wrong side of the tracks where the bussed us to a great school to a ghetto where they put up fences to keep all the poor in.
My favorite teacher had volunteered me for a special science program-- a different teacher was running it and could I meet her after school?
The other teacher's class was at the very end, tucked behind the stairwell, right next to the bathrooms. It was dark; the lights went out minutes after the last bells rang. I waited alone.
I decided to go to the bathroom.
He was waiting there.
He kissed my neck. He grabbed me... in places.
7th grade. I'd had crushes on boys. I'd even kissed one once. But this was...
I laughed. I used to do that when I got nervous. It made him mad. He pushed me down. I heard footsteps, heels clicking down the hall.
"She's expecting me. Her classroom's right there."
He let me leave.
For the rest of the school year I couldn't use the bathrooms at school. I peed myself- like full bladder, pissed all over the place because I couldn't hold it anymore- twice. My parents talked about taking me to the doctor to see if I had a UTI, but they never did and I never told them what really happened.
I'd see him around the school and he's smile at me and tell his friends, "That's my girl."
I'd laugh.
Throwing up wasn't an option. I'd have to go in the bathroom to do that.
I've had several incidences where only LUCK has kept me from being violently raped. LUCK. In the grand scheme of things a saving throw should not be the thing that stands between any woman (or girl. I was a girl) and being violently assaulted.
** I'd love to go back to being a happy go lucky, silly chick who make dick and fart jokes all the time. But stories like mine, Like Delilah Dawson's like all of the women who are standing up and saying No More... I'm tired of this story. Rape is used to control. And when it doesn't work and the "ladies" get too uppity we're told to Maintain our Womanly Dignity. Or to just shut up and stop ruining their awesome boy things with our icky girl stuff. It's old. It's tired and ... welll....
THIS. *** SO! I've had a GREAT IDEA. I want to recreate the speech above ^^^ using lots of people. One video, one speech, many different voices. Men, women all tired of all the bullshit, fear based, isolation, rape culture crap. Lots of people have volunteered on twitter and that is AWESOME. If you are interested EMAIL ME lgwenn (at) yahoo
**UPDATE Women 101 has been pitched to NYCC. I will hear back one way or the other by early August. If you're a professional creator ( writer, artist, cosplayer what have you) and want to be on the panel if it goes, let me know. I'd like to have 3 women & 2 men. **
Then over at A-Kon we had the wonders of GropeCrew *trigger warning*
And then there's the endless incidents of women being told to "get a sense of humor" at best and "Someone needs to rape you and put you in your place" at worst.
But I'm tired of RAILING at Mr. Internet. Mr. Internet listens with friendly ears... but the ones that need to hear? Maybe never do.
So... being tired of yelling into the void... I decided to do something.
A year ago I joked about doing a Women 101 panel at a con. This year... I have contacted NYCC about actually DOING it.
Not because I'm famous. *I ain't*
Not because I have super special womyn powers *I don't*
But no one else seems to be doing it. And someone needs to.
What would we cover?
What women are ADDING to Geek culture.
How to talk to geek girls with out getting decked ( or: don't ask her bra size, dood)
Evolving the representations of women in fiction.
How to be ally.
And then... Maybe have a discussion? If we can keep it civilish?
There are OBSTACLES. I have to put together a panel and since I don't know who will be there... I don't know who I can ask to pop on over. If I have to ask people who aren't going to be there anyway then they have to pay to get there and NY is cray expensive.
SO.... First things first.... Let's see if we can get some traction.
1) Tweet, or FB New York Comic Con and let them know that you want to see #Women101Panel (if you do-- tag or @ me! I'd love to see!)
2) If you know famous ladies who will be at NYCC- INTRODUCE ME! I've talked to more than a few but so far I only have "If I'm there, sure". I'd love to see 3-5 diverse women with broad accomplishments.
3) Let me know if this is the sort of thing you would support on kickstarter. I HAVE 0 IDEAS what I would do for perks, but yeah.
I am FULLY aware that I am not famous and that this is usually the arena of famous people. But no one is doing it. And when I see things that aren't being done.... I step up.
I know.
VERY UNLADYLIKE.
So Talk to me Mr. Internet. Let me know your feels. I'm a girl and all about feels.
