Friday, June 7, 2013

I'm keeping the chain going...

7th grade.

We'd moved from Texas to Virginia. From a neighborhood on the wrong side of the tracks where the bussed us to a great school to a ghetto where they put up fences to keep all the poor in.

My favorite teacher had volunteered me for a special science program-- a different teacher was running it and could I meet her after school?

The other teacher's class was at the very end, tucked behind the stairwell, right next to the bathrooms. It was dark; the lights went out minutes after the last bells rang. I waited alone.

I decided to go to the bathroom.

He was waiting there.

He kissed my neck. He grabbed me... in places.

7th grade. I'd had crushes on boys. I'd even kissed one once. But this was...

I laughed. I used to do that when I got nervous. It made him mad. He pushed me down. I heard footsteps, heels clicking down the hall.

"She's expecting me. Her classroom's right there."

He let me leave.

For the rest of the school year I couldn't use the bathrooms at school. I peed myself- like full bladder, pissed all over the place because I couldn't hold it anymore- twice. My parents talked about taking me to the doctor to see if I had a UTI, but they never did and I never told them what really happened.

I'd see him around the school and he's smile at me and tell his friends, "That's my girl."

I'd laugh.

Throwing up wasn't an option. I'd have to go in the bathroom to do that.

I've had several incidences where only LUCK has kept me from being violently raped. LUCK. In the grand scheme of things a saving throw should not be the thing that stands between any woman (or girl. I was a girl) and being violently assaulted.

** I'd love to go back to being a happy go lucky, silly chick who make dick and fart jokes all the time. But stories like mine, Like Delilah Dawson's  like all of the women who are standing up and saying No More... I'm tired of this story. Rape is used to control. And when it doesn't work and the "ladies" get too uppity we're told to Maintain our Womanly Dignity. Or to just shut up and stop ruining their awesome boy things with our icky girl stuff. It's old. It's tired and ... welll....

THIS. ***

SO! I've had a GREAT IDEA. I want to recreate the speech above ^^^ using lots of people. One video, one speech, many different voices. Men, women all tired of all the bullshit, fear based, isolation, rape culture crap. Lots of people have volunteered on twitter and that is AWESOME. If you are interested EMAIL ME lgwenn (at) yahoo 

**UPDATE Women 101 has been pitched to NYCC. I will hear back one way or the other by early August. If you're a professional creator ( writer, artist, cosplayer what have you) and want to be on the panel if it goes, let me know. I'd like to have 3 women & 2 men. **

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