And since I started modeling again, it is crazy obvious *just how vain* I am.
I get pictures--Sometimes hundreds-- and each one is stared at, vetted, picked apart and (usually) discarded.
And then I post the one, maybe two photos that I like out of the throng and enjoy the adoration of .. well, the 6-10 people who notice.
This isn't new. Models do it all the time. But thing is... it's kinda fucked up. I mean, it's a part of the game and I get that I should maintain my perfect facade ...but please. Anybody who's been paying attention for more than 10 seconds knows that I'm a nerd. And a dork. and I'm not even a little bit cool.
So I wanna share a picture with you.*
|Picture by Andy Jonelis|
I love this picture. The ropes. The costume. The expression on my face. I even like that my hair is mussed.
But it didn't make the cut. Why?
That. I was wearing tights under my costume and it pushed up some skin and I ended up with a little bit of muffin top action. Human beings need a little extra skin to move around. I know this. I also know I work out and have a fairly flat belly and all that. Didn't matter. That little bit of stuff freaked me right out.
So, what's the point of this little diatribe?**
I love all the ladies. That's the point. All the people, really (since I know guys are just as freaked about body issues). And well... confession is good for the soul, right? I'm Lela and I have skin on my stomach. Sometimes it freaks me out.
* this is a completely unretouched photo as far as I know. please be kind and ignore the 1000 other flaws. Andy did a great job shooting me and I assure you there are other flawless photos that will come out of the shoot.
** I feel like I lost the plot somewhere in the middle of this, but hopefully y'all understand.