Tornado Drill

Ladies. You're doing it wrong.


Enjoy Social Media?

um no you just like that boys

Enjoy Comics?

pay attention to you when you think that they think

Enjoy Math?

that you actually get that stuff. They know you're faking and they just PRETEND to 

Enjoy Sports?

respect you and let you think you know what's going on because you are

Enjoy Politics?

 so desperate for their time and attention and they are 

Want Success in your Career?

victims of you. REAL Women do it this way and that way and how I do it!

Have Opinions?

So go BACK TO YOUR CORNER. Sit very still and very small and wait for someone to come get you. 

Enjoy sex?

THINK OF LIFE AS A TORNADO DRILL. Curl up in a ball cover your head and someone will tell you when it's safe. 

the message is given to us over and over again. be small. Be safe. Be quiet. Don't enjoy anything (certainly not YOURSELF) too much. 

I reject your tornado drill. I will be my own damn siren.